Every day is a fight

Archive for December 2011


December 30, 2011

I won the bloody battle against the demon. But it was just one battle – in a war life long. ..being alive, by the cost of some surficial nerves. Wish you all a happier New Year than I will have, you have deserved it!! (I’ll be visiting a friend cause one of his other friends […]

Beauty of the blade

December 29, 2011

I feel sick. No more physically since taking the med, but my heart is crying, my head is getting darker each moment, I think I’ll fall back to the old routine of hurting myself to cure the bloodlust. Or, it’s not really bloodlust now. I just feel so damn awful. Had a nice chat with […]

Season’s greetings!

December 24, 2011

Hi everybody! Have a nice holiday, peaceful, no stress, don’t eat or drink too much even when the temptation might be big. ;) I will get some bread with cold smoked salmon & Christmas punch now. Later sauna, and more sausages and beer. I might have a longer break from posting here, depending how busy […]

The best time of the year

December 12, 2011

And I finally managed to get an appropriate Christmas card for you people out there. It’s unbelievable that in this house of people who like to take photos and have lots of experience of that there’s no freaking tri-pod to find. So I used dishes for the “extra photos” and a chair for Xmas card. […]

last night

December 10, 2011

dreams. first: that boy who was waiting for the same train on Thursday, shaking. this was the first dream before cat woke me up at 6:53am, so i don’t remember everything. but it was very touching, i felt like i found my other half. i met him at a train station, he was wandering around […]

Longing & envy

December 6, 2011

I’m too tired and sick now to care ’bout any stupid politics. ;) Just short, be back on weekend with something better. My long time dream might come true if I keep reaching for it and fighting the demon in me. Today’s food: baked cheese, few spoonfuls of potatoe with butter and tuna, very few; […]

Something is coming this way

December 2, 2011

This just a short note, I’m dead tired, two first school days behind me. Sorry for the crazy stuff lately. I’ve calmed down by now. Instead I’m going to write again some politics next. Something I talked with my dad last Saturday. He said it’s a great idea and that means a lot to me. […]