Every day is a fight

Trading absolute power for a beloved pet

I’ve been feeling odd today. I had very strong emotional dreams and I kind of have been living them all day. ^ That is a crappy sketch of Seed I made sometime last year. Out of memory, not looking at it!

Well, and I wanted to write down those dreams before I fully forget them. I slept badly and Maru kept me awake a lot.

First dream: I joined army. I was walking down to the sleeping quarters with some guy who was also new and we didn’t quite know where to go. We got tiny rooms in an old family house, each room had fridge but no toilet. Small yellow lampt lit up the house. We went to sleep. And then…

I don’t understand where she came from. She was kinda living around in the area, and her sick “job” was to seduce every newcomer and film their reactions the next day. She came into my room and got naked and climbed into my bed. She slept there til morning. I just held her in “spoon”, nothing else. She wasn’t even attractive. A fake blond bitch with drop dead ugly botox face and veins visible on her legs. Yuck. The next morning she left, and I slowly came to realise I had been made sick fun of. And I was mad. Really mad. I went to the entrance room and searched the webcam, pulled it out of the roof, and then waited her to come to find out why there’s no pic anymore on her computer.

Eventually she came, dressed in the same whore-pink bathrobe and slippers. I guess she had nothing under it. She tried to say something. I was so mad I just wanted to kill her, but I had not yet gotten my real weapons so I only had Reaver. Well, she didn’t know it was just a BB-gun… I pressed it against her head and told her to never ever bother me again or she’d be dead. That scared her and she ran away and I didn’t see her again, but later the other guys told me she did that to everyone.

I have been a whole day out of house today so I’ve forgotten parts of the dream, so I don’t know anymore about the training part, but before the dream ended I had gotten really good friends of the other guys there and I invited few of them to visit my ex and his new wife in their new big house. We had great dinner and my ex showed his working room and stuff and his wife was a bit out of place and seemingly wanted to get rid of us as soon as possible. She wanted to talk with me but I just wanted to hang out with the guys…

Second dream: I was some older guy who had a dog. We were both getting old, and I had problems with family, ex-wife, police and alcohol, and I wanted just to be free to do whatever I wanted to, and get back some of my old energy, so I made a deal with Satan. If I’d go through a set of difficult tests of loyalty I’d be granted invincibility and a “Flame”. Which was a circle of fire floating in the air and which would always renew my powers and help me to dominate anyone I wanted, I could spread fire with my hands and control people’s minds.

The first two tests were relatively easy because I was of evil nature and ready to go through heavy personal suffering to gain evil powers, but the third (or fourth?) test was that I was put into a young woman’s body and should get raped, and there my tolerance ended. I tried, but it was too much, so I had to break up.

But because I had been such a good student Satan granted me just one wish: my old dog was close to death, so I could still get invincibility and endless power if I would sacrifice my dog – or I could choose to stay an old man but my dog would be saved and have more years to live. I chose my dog.

It was surprisingly easy choice. I just loved my dog more than the idea of dominating the world alone. :)

Today was really tiring day. Here’s one more pic, a rather odd take on the word “subtract”. There’s some fiction, a photo of frozen bushes and an old drawing from 2004, basing on a story. Not the one used in pic, there’s another drawing of that but it’s really gross. Shows just how chaotic evil and crazy I used to be that time. 2004 was one of the worst years I’ve ever had.

I wanted to post here another pic, but I think you people don’t want to see someone being shot in the head, or? Sometimes it’s good to let out bad feelings by drawing them.

To finish this still in good mood something that always makes me smile:

And don’t forget this:

Wish you a nice weekend if I’m not back during it. Have fun with the vids, I go to bed now.

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