Every day is a fight

Sunshine & rain

Some time ago I remembered I had recieved this award too, from my friend @ On Windy Days. I leave it written in the way he had too. :)

The Sunshine Award is supposed to be given to “bloggers who are inspirational, and who have impacted your blogging or your life.”

Unfortunately most of those have no blogs anymore, have just disappeared a long ago, or changed to something I don’t want to read anymore. Or maybe i have changed, I don’t want to have some things in my life anymore. Some stuff just pulls me down. This week I deleted my finnish blog and most of my following list on Blogger. Did I tell this already? I lose the sense of time… I deleted some numbers from my phone too.

The rules:

  • Include the award’s logo in a post or on your blog (I put the alternate pic, hopefully that’s ok)
  • Answer 10 questions about yourself
  • Nominate 10-12 other amazing bloggers
  • Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blogs, letting them know they have been nominated
  • Share the love and link the person who nominated you.

No nominations, I think you people know already why. Plus I’m super tired today.

The questions:

Favorite Color: Forest green and the blue of faraway forests and mountains

Favorite Animal: Maru!!! Cute little Maru sleeps behind me on the sofa curled up on his soft blanket. I don’t mind the scratches on my neck or hair in my nose and mouth!

Favorite number:  4.

Favorite non-alcoholic drink: Battery energy drink. ;) I drink way too much of it…

Prefer Facebook or Twitter?  Facebook

My passion:   Guns, parties, drawing

Prefer getting or giving presents:  Giving. I like to buy my own stuff or pick my presents by myself before getting them. I don’t like surprises. They are mostly not positive ones.

Favorite pattern:  Well, as previously mentioned, camouflage, and big dots too. Floral or traditional ones drive me nuts. Also if the pattern has for example flowers but is not perfectly completely symmetric it makes my brain burn in stress. Have to cover my bathroom carpet with a towel cause it has a printing error in it’s floral pattern. Also, it’s not what I like the most but what I can stand.

Favorite day of the week:  Saturday. The only REAL weekend day with no tiredness of Friday after school or stress of coming Monday.

Favorite flower:  Magnolia, Lotus, Cherry blossom, Rose, Forget-me-not, Rhododendron, Poppy, Flax, September phlox, Clove, Lilac, Lavender, Peony, Evening primrose, Mock orange/Jasmine. Was that all? ;) Everything that has a refreshing summer scent, and then some that are impressive bloomers.

So, I was out yesterday. First an open-air party with mostly too slow music, but for an hour good to dance. After that eating kebab, and in the evening two and half hours party in a bar. Well, it was longer but I had to leave half past one to catch my last bus. Cold and windy night and I was really hungry, and my legs hurt so bad I could hardly walk. But everyone else out there was drunk and walking like that anyway. I just had one long drink. Did not feel like drinking. Plus that saved money.

I don’t like drum’n’bass so much cause it’s so hard to dance, but I did my best. I love dancing!! Partly it was OK and now I can say I have seen DJ Muffler live. ;) My friend had a positive funny mood and we had a lot of fun.

Last night I couldn’t sleep more than 8 hours cause Maru woke me up early, so hopefully tonight I get a bit more. Started to clean up, brought all the stinking cat poo and rubbish away and cleaned the kitchen sinks (one was plugged and stinking water standing in it with food rests and mold etc.), there were so many dirty dishes over them that it wasn’t visible how bad the situation was. But that stench… Now it’s mostly gone. Also washed some dishes and will do some more soon.

I told Maru that “if mommy can do this mommy can do anything”. I have good rubber gloves and I’m not afraid to touch the mess. And I definitely don’t want anyone else to clean for me. If I’m able to make the mess I’ll clean it up too! It would be the worst humiliation if someone else had to clean because I can’t. And I sure don’t want anyone else to have to SMELL THAT. Really. It WAS bad. I had to throw some plastic dishes and boxes away. And because the drain was blocked I had to scoop the dirty stinking water to a bowl and bring it to toilet, did it four times until the sink was empty. Luckily I have a very powerful drain opening granulate. It hisses when it burns out everything in there. Had to keep Maru away from kitchen cause the agent releases some gas when it works.

On Friday I watched my best friend’s Youtube video of a house he had to clear of mice. It was a messie house and the person had died in there. It was fucking awful to watch, and it kind of woke me up to see how my place looks like. I don’t want that to happen to me!!! I know I have strong hoarding tendencies, genetic and learned, but I don’t want to end up that way!!! It goes so easy. I have an unbelievable mess here, plus it’s damn dirty too, and it just has to GO. NOW. As I’m feeling better I should have the energy to finish it.

Well, it’s been cold and rainy here – just to mention the weather! The Sunshine Award should bring some warmth in here. This week I got insulted and hurt by my therapist and doctor, in a way that makes me feel really bad every time I have to think about it. I have to tell about that when I see my therapist on Wednesday. I’m not letting that sit on me. It’s too bad.

Maybe this is enough today. I’ll be back during the week. I’m leaving to see my parents probably on Thursday evening, and will be back on Monday the next week. I’m seriously out of cash again, and I’m hungering already. I still have 3 weeks to go, and only 80 euros left, and from that I have to buy the train ticket and some meds.

Have a nice new week everybody!

4 Responses to “Sunshine & rain”

  1. Haha, awesome! No way!! DnB is sick!! Especially Muffler, oh my gosh and you saw him live!? It definitely is hard to dance to :P but the rhythms are what gets to me. So technical, so perfect haha. Well, sounds like you had an awesome time for sure :)

    • Yeah I did! ;) Normally I like faster paced music for dancing, but half of that was free, so I should not complain. And it was a fun day, oddly my legs started to hurt almost five days afterwards and not the next day. I’ll look today if there’re some parties coming and where I could go to celebrate Midsummer. Not going to be home for sure! After that night the awful stress got much less, I’m so happy about that. The insomnia is easier to deal with without the stress.

      • Haha, well that sounds awesome! Definitely, it’s good to relieve some of that stress from time to time. ~Sorry for the late reply :/

      • No prob. Been rarely here by myself. Mostly playing the last few weeks. Today I made the “wonderful” experience of dying and leveling up at the same time. 5 levels to go and I have failed a bunch of quests for being an asshole or killing wrong people at wrong times, but I’ll do better next time. I play Fallout New Vegas now but when it’s done I’ll change to Homefront or Modern Warfare 2. Have had big problems with the brand new graphic card, it should be replaced, it overheats, but there’s no easy way to solve the problem. Maybe in August. Thanks for your comment! :)

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