Every day is a fight


It’s over. The nightmare. The depression. All gone. I feel so good.

3 days after starting the asthma medication ALL symptoms were gone and I can breathe. I can’t remember the last time I felt this good. I sleep 1000x better than before, I don’t feel like drowning at night anymore, no more coughing, no more troubles getting air. Also, I got rid of the big dose of Ketipinor and only have 100mg for sleeping. No more being paralyzed! Getting off caffeine reduced the arrhythmia to 0. Excessive resting healed some of the injury in my foot and I can actually walk without constant pain. I’ve been a week without the sleeping pill since I had no money to buy it and I can live without it. Really. I never thought I’d actually feel this way but I don’t actually need chems to sleep. Of course I will take advantage of having the prescription for as long as possible… But if I’m ever encountered by a situation where I just need to get along without my little helpers I’m sure I’ll get along. LOL

Also I got my new clothes and having new, big enough and not broken clothes has done wonders to my self confidence. I even went for a walk the other day! Should go to blood tests this week. Should’ve gone last week but I kept pushing it ahead.

Since all this I have more energy and motivation and am more creative again. I’ve started to clean up the house again. This was an impossible dump and all dishes were dirty. x__x It’s still baby steps but a lot better than two weeks ago. Brought out the trash, washed some dishes and bed sheets. It’s a long road to the point where I can let other people in here but at least I never had a bug problem. Need to vacuum very soon. There’s a massive carpet of cat hair everywhere.

We’ve had a bad dust problem. It was a mild winter but the amount of (useless) sand that was used on the streets has now created massive dust clouds when it’s windy. The day I went to pick up my new clothes there was an apocalyptic glow when setting sun hit the enormous dust cloud hanging between the houses. It was very windy and the dust was blown into my eyes and I breathed it in. Should start to carry one of my dust masks around with me. I made them out of old pants a long time ago. XD I’ve never seen this bad dust problem in the spring.

Yesterday I had luck when I saw that the rent support had been paid already when I was about to go redeem bottles. Got a good amount of stuff to eat, like bread, margarine, cheese, soy yoghurt, 3 liters of Coke, bananas and ice cream. Also stuff to cook a meal from. Going to make a bolognese today. My sleeping routine is still backwards. Yesterday I slept til 5.30pm so I’m not getting tired until around 10am today (it’s 3.45am now) and I will have to push myself not to go to sleep during day. I need a celery for the bolognese so might go buy that and energy drink sometime in the morning to stay awake. The money won’t last forever though and I still gotta pay rent, but I’m happy to announce that I only have 2 rates left from couch and Samsung tablet and beginning June will have 70 euro more left every month. Yayyy!! I’ve been waiting a long time for this. I was originally going to update my pc after those rates are paid but I need to wait a little longer. After all I can run Fallout 4 with several mods and Maru loves to warm his belly on the super heated machine. It has started to make a weird noise lately and today I got the shock of my life when after start I was greeted with a blank desktop void of all personal files. All pics, music, other data and GAME SAVES gone. Something died in me, but after panicking a while I did a restart and it all came back. Jeez. Currently waiting for the backup to finish. Been waiting for the past 4 hours and it’s done in maybe another 45 or 50 minutes.

The past few days I’ve been extra active in Facebook in a new group. Fun and welcoming. But I have generally had real bad experiences with Facebook groups so I’m not getting my hopes up for this to last. Oh, the backup finished and Maru already managed to drool on Rindou, my backup drive. XD For some reason I’m not able to make a full backup with all the libraries included but at least a system backup works and I regularly move the private stuff to one of the storage drives. Yeah, should really see if some company can either fix my big drive or pull the data from there. I had a lot of important stuff there.

Some time ago I went to look for something in my dvd shelf and discovered that I own Mass Effect 2 and 3. Never played, never even installed. Should try them sometime. I propably got one of them as a present but not sure. I can’t remember when I bought most of my games. LOL Need some grub now. Starting to feel dizzy. After that getting Maru’s belly warmed up and trying to find that one damn gun in Fallout 4…

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