SD
Every day is a fight

Archive for the ‘angry’ Category

1 scoop of light, 2 scoops of darkness

June 29, 2017

Been a while since the last update. It feels like an eternity. I usually get on a better mood when I write about what’s wrong. I’d really love to talk to someone about this but I can’t. Already put as much as I could into my other blogs but really, who has ever encountered a […]

Spring. Cloudy.

April 5, 2016

Those buds are about to burst open as fine green in few more warm weeks. If the forecast is true that happens in just days. Spring flowers are already blooming. Cat fur creeps out of every corner. Fine dust finds it’s way inside to cover every surface. Today I cleaned up a little more. PC […]

If I could walk away.

December 29, 2015

Away from here, away from this life. Leave behind everything that’s making me sick. But that is death. There’s no escape except death. I keep waiting forever for the day I can be free, pushing it always further in my mind, chaining myself to the ground and other people’s expectations. Why not now? I’ve been […]

The Dark Age.

December 9, 2014

First of all, let me post a link to an article about emotional child abuse. Cause that’s what we’re gonna talk about tonight. (Yep, it’s still night here.) The Dark Age, that are the past 35 years. Half of a human lifespan. Even more. In emotional child abuse everything is bad and wrong, but maybe […]

Hollow

November 15, 2014

I know I haven’t been here in ages. I still got nothing to say. My life sucks and problems just keep increasing and getting worse all the time. No matter what I do. After 5 weeks every night nightmares I had almost one and half weeks break (around my birthday), but now I’m back to […]

Lolwutidon’tcare

April 27, 2014

The post name describes it so well… Since coming back home I’ve had a panic attack, felt anxious every day, suffered from heightened social phobia, fears and worries and a strong urge to just give up. Start using drugs. Get in trouble. Attack and kill people. Vandalize this house. I feel continuing rage boiling deep […]

Hanging on

December 21, 2013

Stomach hurts cause I fear the holiday. Have my defenses all up and ready for fighting. At least my biggest present made it half way today. I wished I had it with me tomorrow but can’t help the situation. Been sicker than in years for a couple of weeks. Felt like I’m never getting better. […]

Leaves.

October 10, 2013

How that word can have two meanings. It’s fall here, all trees have all shades of yellow and red and rust leaves, those leaves litter the streets, the air smells fresh and wet, like forest and fields and parks and wet sand. Drops of water fall but they wither away as soon as they started. […]

Deaf, blind.

September 5, 2013

People say I’m strong. But sometimes I don’t feel like that at all. My ears hurt and often I can’t hear anything with either one. My eyes hurt, the right one is now red inside and out, in class I can’t see anything without my glasses. My head hurts. Two days this week when I […]

Storytime: Mum

August 5, 2013

I have often started my bloggings with a song. But I have nothing in mind that would describe the deceit. I was long awake last night, couldn’t sleep, was restless and felt bad and now I feel like I just have to get this out. Even when my memories might be sometimes faint, like shadows. […]