SD
Every day is a fight

Archive for the ‘half eaten mice’ Category

1 scoop of light, 2 scoops of darkness

June 29, 2017

Been a while since the last update. It feels like an eternity. I usually get on a better mood when I write about what’s wrong. I’d really love to talk to someone about this but I can’t. Already put as much as I could into my other blogs but really, who has ever encountered a […]

Today I stare back at you, darkness

February 5, 2017

Just never surrender, that’s it. In November, my closest friend was diagnosed with final stage cancer and she passed away at Christmas Night. Life hasn’t been very lively after that. I’m plagued by serious depression and the suicidal thoughts have returned. I dream about her last days a lot. So it has come to a […]

Let me give you a hand.

July 9, 2016

This year’s been hell so far. But here I am still. 6 am, after a long night enjoying a game, drinking energy drink, Maru sleeping next to me on my new couch. Morning sun reaches the bushes in front of the balcony. Stay quiet, don’t move, then maybe the heat is bearable. I’ve been unstable […]

No title.

September 24, 2015

The last 20 minutes there have been 4 vehicles with sirens passing the main street. There are a lot of them here. I hear some almost every day. Always coming from north and heading to the sea. In my old place I heard them only during holidays and when it was very hot, there was […]

3-minute-meow.

July 19, 2015

Or better a 24/7 meow. It’s getting worse and worse, and all my time I’m either in coma or fighting to stay awake – no resting. My brain is asleep all the time and I can’t get it awake for more than few minutes at the time. It’s a bad feeling. It’s like sleep paralysis […]

Mixed feelings.

July 2, 2015

Money is the root of all evil and having none of it is the solution to all life’s problems. 0 money cured all existing addictions, put me on my knees and made me beg for money from people who can use my predicament as an excuse to further manipulate, abuse, control and berate me in […]

Tori no Hito.

May 31, 2015

That’s…fitting. I’m listening to a Joe Hisaishi concert again and it’s 3:20am. There’s a song in NausicaƤ of The Valley of The Wind called Bird Person. I was seeing my parents this week and read that book Birdy almost completely. I sat on my bed and read over 4 hours straight without a break. Since […]

The hug of the badger-panda.

May 18, 2015

Can’t say I’m doing good. There was a better time, but… Things got worse again. Problems with food, taste hallucination, heavy allergy and skin problems, asshole parents. Stress level surprisingly low. Tried two alternative sleeping pills but they caused a massive weight gaining and now I’m back on Z. Have been sleeping better since 2,5 […]

Worse.

February 7, 2015

So tired I feel like I might collapse any moment. Arms hurt, legs hurt. Head hurt, teeth hurt. Exhausted beyond imaginable. Sunrise has moved a tiny bit more east. The skyline is orange. 7:26am. On Tuesday I got the most horrid stomach pains ever – again. Last time was during weekend. It lasted forever. I […]

The Dark Age.

December 9, 2014

First of all, let me post a link to an article about emotional child abuse. Cause that’s what we’re gonna talk about tonight. (Yep, it’s still night here.) The Dark Age, that are the past 35 years. Half of a human lifespan. Even more. In emotional child abuse everything is bad and wrong, but maybe […]