SD
Every day is a fight

Archive for the ‘“happy family”’ Category

1 scoop of light, 2 scoops of darkness

June 29, 2017

Been a while since the last update. It feels like an eternity. I usually get on a better mood when I write about what’s wrong. I’d really love to talk to someone about this but I can’t. Already put as much as I could into my other blogs but really, who has ever encountered a […]

Today I stare back at you, darkness

February 5, 2017

Just never surrender, that’s it. In November, my closest friend was diagnosed with final stage cancer and she passed away at Christmas Night. Life hasn’t been very lively after that. I’m plagued by serious depression and the suicidal thoughts have returned. I dream about her last days a lot. So it has come to a […]

If I could walk away.

December 29, 2015

Away from here, away from this life. Leave behind everything that’s making me sick. But that is death. There’s no escape except death. I keep waiting forever for the day I can be free, pushing it always further in my mind, chaining myself to the ground and other people’s expectations. Why not now? I’ve been […]

Mixed feelings.

July 2, 2015

Money is the root of all evil and having none of it is the solution to all life’s problems. 0 money cured all existing addictions, put me on my knees and made me beg for money from people who can use my predicament as an excuse to further manipulate, abuse, control and berate me in […]

Tori no Hito.

May 31, 2015

That’s…fitting. I’m listening to a Joe Hisaishi concert again and it’s 3:20am. There’s a song in NausicaƤ of The Valley of The Wind called Bird Person. I was seeing my parents this week and read that book Birdy almost completely. I sat on my bed and read over 4 hours straight without a break. Since […]

The hug of the badger-panda.

May 18, 2015

Can’t say I’m doing good. There was a better time, but… Things got worse again. Problems with food, taste hallucination, heavy allergy and skin problems, asshole parents. Stress level surprisingly low. Tried two alternative sleeping pills but they caused a massive weight gaining and now I’m back on Z. Have been sleeping better since 2,5 […]

The Dark Age.

December 9, 2014

First of all, let me post a link to an article about emotional child abuse. Cause that’s what we’re gonna talk about tonight. (Yep, it’s still night here.) The Dark Age, that are the past 35 years. Half of a human lifespan. Even more. In emotional child abuse everything is bad and wrong, but maybe […]

Don’t you cry, it’ll be alright

April 26, 2014

After laying in bed for 20 minutes decided to get up again. On overdrive, I just don’t sleep. Left old place yesterday. My sis came and gave me stuff she had written to read. It was horrible. Well written, but… I have blocked everything from back then to survive. All my energy was directed to […]

Fashion dolls

January 17, 2014

This has been brooding for a while. Been too busy and tired to update either one, this or Darkness Over Day. There are those rare moments when you realize something about your being, something that then seems so obvious. Today I thought about the time when I was little and when I for some reason […]

Storytime: Making love to the sound of the wind

December 30, 2013

Every night, before laying to sleep, the boy told his dad he loved him. In the old green house, in the bedroom under the roof where the sound of the wind never ceased, every night the dad pulled off his belt and beat up his son. Smiling when the boy tried to resist. It was […]