SD
Every day is a fight

Archive for the ‘i’ll survive another day’ Category

1 scoop of light, 2 scoops of darkness

June 29, 2017

Been a while since the last update. It feels like an eternity. I usually get on a better mood when I write about what’s wrong. I’d really love to talk to someone about this but I can’t. Already put as much as I could into my other blogs but really, who has ever encountered a […]

Today I stare back at you, darkness

February 5, 2017

Just never surrender, that’s it. In November, my closest friend was diagnosed with final stage cancer and she passed away at Christmas Night. Life hasn’t been very lively after that. I’m plagued by serious depression and the suicidal thoughts have returned. I dream about her last days a lot. So it has come to a […]

Let me give you a hand.

July 9, 2016

This year’s been hell so far. But here I am still. 6 am, after a long night enjoying a game, drinking energy drink, Maru sleeping next to me on my new couch. Morning sun reaches the bushes in front of the balcony. Stay quiet, don’t move, then maybe the heat is bearable. I’ve been unstable […]

Birds.

January 31, 2016

Are flying around chirping today. Sun shines for a short while before setting behind the houses. From living room window I can see a small square of the sky. Thin clouds. Blue. Trees and branches lit with the last glow of the sun, not much more than a ghost. It’s 4pm and still light outside. […]

No title.

September 24, 2015

The last 20 minutes there have been 4 vehicles with sirens passing the main street. There are a lot of them here. I hear some almost every day. Always coming from north and heading to the sea. In my old place I heard them only during holidays and when it was very hot, there was […]

New home, new life, old problems.

September 5, 2015

First off, Maru enjoys himself. Lots of place to run, a balcony and a cow hide in sleeping room to roll on. I’m not so fine. Still forced to use mobile, no internet at home. Hurt my knee bad on first school day and it’s been a pain in the ass. Moving has just started […]

Mixed feelings.

July 2, 2015

Money is the root of all evil and having none of it is the solution to all life’s problems. 0 money cured all existing addictions, put me on my knees and made me beg for money from people who can use my predicament as an excuse to further manipulate, abuse, control and berate me in […]

Cold.

November 17, 2014

Feet been hurting like hell since I went out in the morning. Half slept among the others through morning lessons. But I have the feeling I’m slowly getting the hang of the topic tolerances. And M is a better teacher than J. We had some lazy asses repeating the course. I still got no working […]

Just keep walking

August 30, 2014

Things are better now. Easier, not so much stress. Blocking it out with music and reading whenever I can. Talk with people. Focus on working. Too tired to worry. Won’t help forever, but at least every week from Monday to Friday. Not much to tell about the work. Got no working clothes but can do […]

Dance of the black snake.

December 11, 2013

Been a long time, sick, fighting, giving up, being poisoned. Not been in school regularly, last week only two days and this week none. High stress level, hurt my knee and it’s swollen, my right foot is swollen too, as bad as it used to be. Still no winter jacket. So, layered clothing, endlessly. My […]