SD
Every day is a fight

Archive for the ‘killing’ Category

If I could walk away.

December 29, 2015

Away from here, away from this life. Leave behind everything that’s making me sick. But that is death. There’s no escape except death. I keep waiting forever for the day I can be free, pushing it always further in my mind, chaining myself to the ground and other people’s expectations. Why not now? I’ve been […]

Your house is your garden.

October 24, 2013

In which you cultivate your feelings and what you give to others and yourself. If you feed your garden with good karma it’ll flourish and bloom and everyone will love to visit you and be your friend. If you feed it with bad karma it’ll suck out your life energy and disturb or scare visitors. […]

I’m tired to fight

March 3, 2013

This a pic I drew sometimes around new year or Xmas. I’m fighting, still, but I’m tired. I can’t talk to anyone. If I talk to my therapist I get reported to police, I got no friends, no-one cares and I don’t care about them either. It’s so cold here, and inside of me. Hard […]

Killing people is fun

October 14, 2012

It’s like playing hide and seek. I feel relieved of all stress and pain when I stab them with my knife and see blood coming out. It’s awesome, I cannot explain, it feels just so good. Like something I’ve wanted all my life, finally come true. Of course it’s a mess sometimes, my clothes get […]

Cry for blood

April 26, 2012

Just to say I’m so close to kill someone it will be a miracle if I make it over the holidays without soaking my hands and knife in fresh warm blood. Nothing helps to this. I don’t get the images out of my head – and I don’t want to. I’ll tell you what happens […]

Two people

April 7, 2012

A very short Easter visit from my parents and sister. They brought food and juice. Dad was very nervous the whole time here and criticized the giant work I did yesterday and this morning to clean it up here to look at least a bit normal. It’s such a luck he doesn’t know how it […]

I’m so sorry

April 1, 2012

Talked a bit with A, it made me happy he was on, but it made me sad too that he’s not feeling well. It’s better for him to rest now and recharge, and hopefully his pains get better during sleep. But the little talk just left me even more lonely than I was before. I […]

Fuck yeah

March 30, 2012

OUCH!! Like, most of those I’ve heard from other people, and the few rest realised by myself… It’s from ’76 but still! This blog has had already 880 views! Time to celebrate, what? — That was all yesterday, Thursday. I was OK. There was bloodlust, but I had it under control. Then came evening, then […]

…feel you in the wind

March 26, 2012

It’s there again. Outside of my window, inside my head. My living atm is “macgyverish”, I use my SOG Pup to cut bread and spread butter on it, to open boxes, to cut anything food or not food, to eat. I have no spoons, not even plastic ones clean, and only plastic forks that suck. […]

I can hear you in the wind

February 27, 2012

You’re whispering the sweet words of murder and destruction… “Tumbled” upon this: Whoever fights monsters… Very interesting to read. I have no real reason to write anything today. I was outta house hearing if it’s possible to get a loan from my bank. It’s not. SHIT. Then I have to lend money from my ex […]