SD
Every day is a fight

Archive for the ‘manic’ Category

Don’t you cry, it’ll be alright

April 26, 2014

After laying in bed for 20 minutes decided to get up again. On overdrive, I just don’t sleep. Left old place yesterday. My sis came and gave me stuff she had written to read. It was horrible. Well written, but… I have blocked everything from back then to survive. All my energy was directed to […]

Hanging on

December 21, 2013

Stomach hurts cause I fear the holiday. Have my defenses all up and ready for fighting. At least my biggest present made it half way today. I wished I had it with me tomorrow but can’t help the situation. Been sicker than in years for a couple of weeks. Felt like I’m never getting better. […]

Hunger

July 5, 2012

Overdrive. I have been eating normally, every day a warm meal. I don’t know how long already. I should buy a scale. The reason why I haven’t bought one yet is not the money – it’s the fear (?) of finding it a pleasure to weigh myself and keep track on my weight. Oh I […]

Statusupdate

June 28, 2012

I need to get my caffeine addiction and sleeplessness in control, and damn soon or I land into hospital again. I’m going to severe manic state, been awake good more than 30 hours now and not a tiny bit sleepy even when I haven’t had any caffeine since 7am. Been drinking average one 0,45l energy […]

Mineral water

June 15, 2012

Is what I have to drink now every day if possible. Kalium & magnesium & salt balance is off. Today I bought a big bottle, but can only afford the cheapest of all (Bonaqua from Coca Cola). And this is because every day when it’s warm now in summer I feel constantly dizzy and sometimes […]

Cry for blood

April 26, 2012

Just to say I’m so close to kill someone it will be a miracle if I make it over the holidays without soaking my hands and knife in fresh warm blood. Nothing helps to this. I don’t get the images out of my head – and I don’t want to. I’ll tell you what happens […]

Two people

April 7, 2012

A very short Easter visit from my parents and sister. They brought food and juice. Dad was very nervous the whole time here and criticized the giant work I did yesterday and this morning to clean it up here to look at least a bit normal. It’s such a luck he doesn’t know how it […]

Fuck yeah

March 30, 2012

OUCH!! Like, most of those I’ve heard from other people, and the few rest realised by myself… It’s from ’76 but still! This blog has had already 880 views! Time to celebrate, what? — That was all yesterday, Thursday. I was OK. There was bloodlust, but I had it under control. Then came evening, then […]

I can hear you in the wind

February 27, 2012

You’re whispering the sweet words of murder and destruction… “Tumbled” upon this: Whoever fights monsters… Very interesting to read. I have no real reason to write anything today. I was outta house hearing if it’s possible to get a loan from my bank. It’s not. SHIT. Then I have to lend money from my ex […]

Giving myself away

February 27, 2012

That night I saw the ground crumble, I saw the cities fall like dry sand castles, gushes of wind blowing away bricks and cement blocks. Like they were light as feathers. Nothing but feathers. All light was gone. The aftershock hit the land in deep dark, shaking away the last fractures of human pride. One […]