SD
Every day is a fight

Archive for the ‘people i hate’ Category

If I could walk away.

December 29, 2015

Away from here, away from this life. Leave behind everything that’s making me sick. But that is death. There’s no escape except death. I keep waiting forever for the day I can be free, pushing it always further in my mind, chaining myself to the ground and other people’s expectations. Why not now? I’ve been […]

Mixed feelings.

July 2, 2015

Money is the root of all evil and having none of it is the solution to all life’s problems. 0 money cured all existing addictions, put me on my knees and made me beg for money from people who can use my predicament as an excuse to further manipulate, abuse, control and berate me in […]

Lolwutidon’tcare

April 27, 2014

The post name describes it so well… Since coming back home I’ve had a panic attack, felt anxious every day, suffered from heightened social phobia, fears and worries and a strong urge to just give up. Start using drugs. Get in trouble. Attack and kill people. Vandalize this house. I feel continuing rage boiling deep […]

Leaves.

October 10, 2013

How that word can have two meanings. It’s fall here, all trees have all shades of yellow and red and rust leaves, those leaves litter the streets, the air smells fresh and wet, like forest and fields and parks and wet sand. Drops of water fall but they wither away as soon as they started. […]

On my knees

August 3, 2013

Listening to this non-stop. For an hour. My head’s a mess. Overencumbered. Not eaten much anything all day. Sad. Stressed. Read some of them homeless stories from this blog. It’s a great blog. I’ve been through alcoholism and I’ve been homeless too. I still have the fear of losing all I have. Right now. I […]

I watched you fall

April 11, 2013

No energy for any extras. I got the best grade (3) from physics, and 2 of the first course of math, but there’s whole lot to do before retiring to summer holiday. It turns out I’m not allowed to continue in the group I’m in now. Because I was missing 3 times. I didn’t know […]

Vibrating waves of pale darkness

February 16, 2013

Ikatan Nuain, Ikatan Nuain, your voice is the harp of the sea. In the floods of darkness there is light where you go. Ikatan Nuain, Ikatan Nuain, your name is seagras’ whispering. Shining corals glory your name there where you go. Ikatan Nuain, Ikatan Nuain, your skin is pearls’ freshness. On the riffs shells open […]

All this pain

December 8, 2012

I wanna come back to blogging. I have so much inside me that I feel I’m gonna burst. Things I can’t share even with those friends I have learned to trust. Maybe I can blog about it? I will try. I will make this blog open again because I don’t wanna hide. I’m not always […]

Killing people is fun

October 14, 2012

It’s like playing hide and seek. I feel relieved of all stress and pain when I stab them with my knife and see blood coming out. It’s awesome, I cannot explain, it feels just so good. Like something I’ve wanted all my life, finally come true. Of course it’s a mess sometimes, my clothes get […]

Avoiding encounter [Fallout New Vegas spoiler alert]

July 19, 2012

I had to encounter some of my worst fears today, but I couldn’t. I turned and walked away. I can’t fucking go into that place!! I die of shock if I do!! So what if it’s only in game and just pixels on screen, it’s horrendous!! Plants are NOT pretty, not when they are mutated, […]