SD
Every day is a fight

Archive for the ‘really bad’ Category

If I could walk away.

December 29, 2015

Away from here, away from this life. Leave behind everything that’s making me sick. But that is death. There’s no escape except death. I keep waiting forever for the day I can be free, pushing it always further in my mind, chaining myself to the ground and other people’s expectations. Why not now? I’ve been […]

3-minute-meow.

July 19, 2015

Or better a 24/7 meow. It’s getting worse and worse, and all my time I’m either in coma or fighting to stay awake – no resting. My brain is asleep all the time and I can’t get it awake for more than few minutes at the time. It’s a bad feeling. It’s like sleep paralysis […]

Hollow

November 15, 2014

I know I haven’t been here in ages. I still got nothing to say. My life sucks and problems just keep increasing and getting worse all the time. No matter what I do. After 5 weeks every night nightmares I had almost one and half weeks break (around my birthday), but now I’m back to […]

Lolwutidon’tcare

April 27, 2014

The post name describes it so well… Since coming back home I’ve had a panic attack, felt anxious every day, suffered from heightened social phobia, fears and worries and a strong urge to just give up. Start using drugs. Get in trouble. Attack and kill people. Vandalize this house. I feel continuing rage boiling deep […]

Big fat black snake

April 13, 2014

A dragon snake with thin sharp barbs sinking into my flesh, sucking out my energy, eating me alive. It’s beneath my skin, getting fatter and fatter and me inside is getting weaker and weaker. The snake chokes me every time I try to eat, or even think about eating. I feel so sick all the […]

The monkey doesn’t let me sleep

February 5, 2014

Huge worry about money atm. Got the black snake under control, finally, and been way too tired for the red snake to burn me inside, but now I’ve got a problem with that damn monkey. Can’t sleep anymore. It’s keeping me awake hours and hours, tranquilizers have no effect, my brain is failing from too […]

Dance of the black snake.

December 11, 2013

Been a long time, sick, fighting, giving up, being poisoned. Not been in school regularly, last week only two days and this week none. High stress level, hurt my knee and it’s swollen, my right foot is swollen too, as bad as it used to be. Still no winter jacket. So, layered clothing, endlessly. My […]

The man called Jeebus who walked in a swimming pool with 1cm water depth

June 1, 2013

Decided to post a little piece of shit. Some pics, music, stuff. My head is overloaded and I feel pretty bad right now. Been restless for weeks, can’t really sleep or rest, heavy allergy and caffeine withdrawal. Today we had the school ending ceremony. Boring as hell, as usual, but afterwards long talks with class […]

All this pain

December 8, 2012

I wanna come back to blogging. I have so much inside me that I feel I’m gonna burst. Things I can’t share even with those friends I have learned to trust. Maybe I can blog about it? I will try. I will make this blog open again because I don’t wanna hide. I’m not always […]

Death will rain down from the skies

August 25, 2012

  red skies above me black skies above me   walls not closing in they break in pieces everything will break in pieces there’s no future for the ones living in dark jump down jump down   but there’s no bridge here, no well, no hole in the ground just the hole inside me mind […]