SD
Every day is a fight

Archive for the ‘sleepless’ Category

Empty deserts of tearless nights

March 13, 2017

Awake with the painful memories or trapped into endless nightmares. I can’t fall asleep cause all I can think of is her, lying in the hospital bed, dying. At some point I fall into a chem induced sleep that is no sleep, it’s walking from one terrible scene to another, not finding a way out […]

Let me give you a hand.

July 9, 2016

This year’s been hell so far. But here I am still. 6 am, after a long night enjoying a game, drinking energy drink, Maru sleeping next to me on my new couch. Morning sun reaches the bushes in front of the balcony. Stay quiet, don’t move, then maybe the heat is bearable. I’ve been unstable […]

Don’t you cry, it’ll be alright

April 26, 2014

After laying in bed for 20 minutes decided to get up again. On overdrive, I just don’t sleep. Left old place yesterday. My sis came and gave me stuff she had written to read. It was horrible. Well written, but… I have blocked everything from back then to survive. All my energy was directed to […]

Love, devotion

March 26, 2014

22.3. Sick with caffeine and sugar withdrawal. Maybe I should just give in and make me a cup of coffee. It helps a bit. Need to eat too. Yes, coffee with lots of milk, the rest of my favourite bread, some yoghurt and a glas of self made juice from mum. I don’t usually make […]

The monkey doesn’t let me sleep

February 5, 2014

Huge worry about money atm. Got the black snake under control, finally, and been way too tired for the red snake to burn me inside, but now I’ve got a problem with that damn monkey. Can’t sleep anymore. It’s keeping me awake hours and hours, tranquilizers have no effect, my brain is failing from too […]

Dance of the black snake.

December 11, 2013

Been a long time, sick, fighting, giving up, being poisoned. Not been in school regularly, last week only two days and this week none. High stress level, hurt my knee and it’s swollen, my right foot is swollen too, as bad as it used to be. Still no winter jacket. So, layered clothing, endlessly. My […]

Deaf, blind.

September 5, 2013

People say I’m strong. But sometimes I don’t feel like that at all. My ears hurt and often I can’t hear anything with either one. My eyes hurt, the right one is now red inside and out, in class I can’t see anything without my glasses. My head hurts. Two days this week when I […]

Statusupdate

June 28, 2012

I need to get my caffeine addiction and sleeplessness in control, and damn soon or I land into hospital again. I’m going to severe manic state, been awake good more than 30 hours now and not a tiny bit sleepy even when I haven’t had any caffeine since 7am. Been drinking average one 0,45l energy […]