Every day is a fight

Archive for the ‘some are born to endless night’ Category

I’m so sorry

April 1, 2012

Talked a bit with A, it made me happy he was on, but it made me sad too that he’s not feeling well. It’s better for him to rest now and recharge, and hopefully his pains get better during sleep. But the little talk just left me even more lonely than I was before. I […]

…feel you in the wind

March 26, 2012

It’s there again. Outside of my window, inside my head. My living atm is “macgyverish”, I use my SOG Pup to cut bread and spread butter on it, to open boxes, to cut anything food or not food, to eat. I have no spoons, not even plastic ones clean, and only plastic forks that suck. […]

Giving myself away

February 27, 2012

That night I saw the ground crumble, I saw the cities fall like dry sand castles, gushes of wind blowing away bricks and cement blocks. Like they were light as feathers. Nothing but feathers. All light was gone. The aftershock hit the land in deep dark, shaking away the last fractures of human pride. One […]

Where do you go, restless soul?

February 18, 2012

Listen to the city at night. Sounds like home, doesn’t it? Sounds like millions of innocent victims screaming. 201106* At times easy to see – The demon. The real me. 200307* Snowflakes And fresh blood – A perfect night. 29.11.05 — Some old poems from a series called AnOther Poems. I have written them “as […]


February 11, 2012

Today, I’ve thought a lot about hunting. People. It’s been coming a while and this week’s stress launched an aggressive period. I think and talk insane stuff. I think ONLY insane stuff. About killing. Detailed murders. Torture. I get more and more angry at people who try to “help” me. Who think they know best […]

Lift off

January 26, 2012

How could it be wrong to enjoy something this beautiful? Just listen to this music and watch all this war happening. Who said war can’t be beautiful? It is. Stop. Look around. It is. — My SEALs knife arrived today and I got it from post office. I love it. Propably no surprise… I spent […]

We could still rise above them all

November 21, 2011

Throw your hands up for… ABB. I found something, a website, that makes me really happy cause it’s bad for my addiction. It’s not heroin but let’s say cocaine. ^o^ Earlier today I watched the Cold Case -series with one interesting and one stupid case, and got the sparkle to search for that one guy […]


November 14, 2011

Solomon’s song. Ever read that book? From Toni Morrison. I read it several years ago and it haunted me all those years til today. On weekend again those same conversations with my parents. It’s SICK how our family reminds me of the twisted relationships of people in that book. They had a major fight on […]

Keep talking

October 8, 2011

It’s getting worse. Must avoid being out when it’s dark. Succesful in that this week, but have the increasing need to go out. Some days I don’t even open the balcony door after dark. Should concentrate on internet today. Had to quit watching Criminal minds in the middle today, it got me too involved. Have […]

He who shall hurt the little Wren

October 1, 2011

…shall never be belov’d by men. Well known poem by good ol’ William Blake. Everyone knows how it ends: Every night and every morn some to misery are born. Every morn and every night some are born to sweet delight some are born to sweet delight, some are born to endless night. (And the rest: […]