SD
Every day is a fight

Archive for the ‘this path’ Category

1 scoop of light, 2 scoops of darkness

June 29, 2017

Been a while since the last update. It feels like an eternity. I usually get on a better mood when I write about what’s wrong. I’d really love to talk to someone about this but I can’t. Already put as much as I could into my other blogs but really, who has ever encountered a […]

Today I stare back at you, darkness

February 5, 2017

Just never surrender, that’s it. In November, my closest friend was diagnosed with final stage cancer and she passed away at Christmas Night. Life hasn’t been very lively after that. I’m plagued by serious depression and the suicidal thoughts have returned. I dream about her last days a lot. So it has come to a […]

The Dark Age.

December 9, 2014

First of all, let me post a link to an article about emotional child abuse. Cause that’s what we’re gonna talk about tonight. (Yep, it’s still night here.) The Dark Age, that are the past 35 years. Half of a human lifespan. Even more. In emotional child abuse everything is bad and wrong, but maybe […]

Dance of the black snake.

December 11, 2013

Been a long time, sick, fighting, giving up, being poisoned. Not been in school regularly, last week only two days and this week none. High stress level, hurt my knee and it’s swollen, my right foot is swollen too, as bad as it used to be. Still no winter jacket. So, layered clothing, endlessly. My […]

Your house is your garden.

October 24, 2013

In which you cultivate your feelings and what you give to others and yourself. If you feed your garden with good karma it’ll flourish and bloom and everyone will love to visit you and be your friend. If you feed it with bad karma it’ll suck out your life energy and disturb or scare visitors. […]

A day in school

September 9, 2013

Cat alarm went off at 4AM like it does every morning, even weekends. I thought about staying awake right away, but then went back to sleep and moved my own alarm to 5AM, finally getting awake ten past. Crazy horrible stress dreams, one in which I was in that English TV-show where two young women […]

Deaf, blind.

September 5, 2013

People say I’m strong. But sometimes I don’t feel like that at all. My ears hurt and often I can’t hear anything with either one. My eyes hurt, the right one is now red inside and out, in class I can’t see anything without my glasses. My head hurts. Two days this week when I […]

No one nothing is real

July 9, 2013

Nah it’s not only the sleep deprivation. I just feel horrible. Nothing makes sense. This is the second day. Been listening to music in incredible amounts, playing a bit, posting shit in Facebook, watching porn. Well, mostly just watching porn. Mostly Tumblr. 90%. The rest that stuff I already have saved. Manga, pics… I can […]

That piece of heaven – so close

July 4, 2013

Well the last time I wrote that little story of Oni, then I didn’t know what was to come two days later. After then I had no time to even consider writing anything. Too busy with guests and travels and interacting. But the good news (finally): I got a studying place!! I’ll be starting in […]

The man called Jeebus who walked in a swimming pool with 1cm water depth

June 1, 2013

Decided to post a little piece of shit. Some pics, music, stuff. My head is overloaded and I feel pretty bad right now. Been restless for weeks, can’t really sleep or rest, heavy allergy and caffeine withdrawal. Today we had the school ending ceremony. Boring as hell, as usual, but afterwards long talks with class […]