Every day is a fight

Archive for the ‘void’ Category

Let me give you a hand.

July 9, 2016

This year’s been hell so far. But here I am still. 6 am, after a long night enjoying a game, drinking energy drink, Maru sleeping next to me on my new couch. Morning sun reaches the bushes in front of the balcony. Stay quiet, don’t move, then maybe the heat is bearable. I’ve been unstable […]

+ is the only cross in my life.

June 3, 2015

From those 7 bottles a half one is left. I’m pushing the limits again. Short but intense morning workout session and afterwards I sit here crying. I want to be free but I can’t imagine my life without this drink. I looked too deep in the bottle again. Outside everything is cool, green, wet. I […]

Fashion dolls

January 17, 2014

This has been brooding for a while. Been too busy and tired to update either one, this or Darkness Over Day. There are those rare moments when you realize something about your being, something that then seems so obvious. Today I thought about the time when I was little and when I for some reason […]

Vibrating waves of pale darkness

February 16, 2013

Ikatan Nuain, Ikatan Nuain, your voice is the harp of the sea. In the floods of darkness there is light where you go. Ikatan Nuain, Ikatan Nuain, your name is seagras’ whispering. Shining corals glory your name there where you go. Ikatan Nuain, Ikatan Nuain, your skin is pearls’ freshness. On the riffs shells open […]

Two people

April 7, 2012

A very short Easter visit from my parents and sister. They brought food and juice. Dad was very nervous the whole time here and criticized the giant work I did yesterday and this morning to clean it up here to look at least a bit normal. It’s such a luck he doesn’t know how it […]

Where do you go, restless soul?

February 18, 2012

Listen to the city at night. Sounds like home, doesn’t it? Sounds like millions of innocent victims screaming. 201106* At times easy to see – The demon. The real me. 200307* Snowflakes And fresh blood – A perfect night. 29.11.05 — Some old poems from a series called AnOther Poems. I have written them “as […]

Beauty of the blade

December 29, 2011

I feel sick. No more physically since taking the med, but my heart is crying, my head is getting darker each moment, I think I’ll fall back to the old routine of hurting myself to cure the bloodlust. Or, it’s not really bloodlust now. I just feel so damn awful. Had a nice chat with […]


November 14, 2011

Solomon’s song. Ever read that book? From Toni Morrison. I read it several years ago and it haunted me all those years til today. On weekend again those same conversations with my parents. It’s SICK how our family reminds me of the twisted relationships of people in that book. They had a major fight on […]

Dead? and gone

July 13, 2011

I’m gone. Into the cyberspace. Starting with Nyan cat. Followed with games and anime. I could bite my ass that I didn’t buy me a new computer when I still got my “maintenance”, unofficial such basing to a deal I had with my ex, which should not be mentioned as I got it without telling […]

I’d like to buy the world a home and furnish it with love…

July 12, 2011

That is the first line of “The Coke song” that is currently played in the new ad. I love it! I love to drink coke too but it is secondary. That song represents for me something that I like very much. It always reminds me of that and everytime I see it in TV I […]