SD
Every day is a fight

Posts Tagged ‘self-harm

Empty deserts of tearless nights

March 13, 2017

Awake with the painful memories or trapped into endless nightmares. I can’t fall asleep cause all I can think of is her, lying in the hospital bed, dying. At some point I fall into a chem induced sleep that is no sleep, it’s walking from one terrible scene to another, not finding a way out […]

Big fat black snake

April 13, 2014

A dragon snake with thin sharp barbs sinking into my flesh, sucking out my energy, eating me alive. It’s beneath my skin, getting fatter and fatter and me inside is getting weaker and weaker. The snake chokes me every time I try to eat, or even think about eating. I feel so sick all the […]

Storytime: Making love to the sound of the wind

December 30, 2013

Every night, before laying to sleep, the boy told his dad he loved him. In the old green house, in the bedroom under the roof where the sound of the wind never ceased, every night the dad pulled off his belt and beat up his son. Smiling when the boy tried to resist. It was […]

Your house is your garden.

October 24, 2013

In which you cultivate your feelings and what you give to others and yourself. If you feed your garden with good karma it’ll flourish and bloom and everyone will love to visit you and be your friend. If you feed it with bad karma it’ll suck out your life energy and disturb or scare visitors. […]

The man called Jeebus who walked in a swimming pool with 1cm water depth

June 1, 2013

Decided to post a little piece of shit. Some pics, music, stuff. My head is overloaded and I feel pretty bad right now. Been restless for weeks, can’t really sleep or rest, heavy allergy and caffeine withdrawal. Today we had the school ending ceremony. Boring as hell, as usual, but afterwards long talks with class […]

If you give up, you have already lost

February 25, 2013

Feels like implosion of the heart. Such a weight on me, pushing the insides into a tight small square, too small for me. I’m big. Not my outside. My outside is miserable, just raw mass without a form. My mind needs lots of space to roam free, now it’s held down in a cage, my […]

Mandala

June 22, 2012

Have nothing to say, but someone came here with the search term “cutted wrists”. Even when that is written wrong as the verb “cut” has no other forms I’ve decided to give that person what he/she wants. Here you are, new pics from beginning of this week: I’m not doing this because I especially enjoy […]

Still heading for the ground

May 8, 2012

I’m not asking why. I know this happens. I can’t do anything. Everything’s been fine for so long now. Then breakdown. Pain. Desperation. Tears. Everything that’s been so good and made me happy slips away, further and further, away from sight. I see no beauty anymore. I loved to see my plants grow, everything I […]

Old stuff, beware

April 11, 2012

NOTE: MAY CONTAIN OFFENSIVE MATERIAL. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE PLEASE LEAVE NOW (and never come back har har xD). Thought I’d post a couple of old pics. Was in school today, wanted to leave after lunch but was kinda forced to stay cause our cooking teacher said there’s a special gluten free dessert for me […]

I’m so sorry

April 1, 2012

Talked a bit with A, it made me happy he was on, but it made me sad too that he’s not feeling well. It’s better for him to rest now and recharge, and hopefully his pains get better during sleep. But the little talk just left me even more lonely than I was before. I […]